“For the road to Santiago
Don’t make new declarations
About what to bring and
What to leave behind
Just bring what you have
You are always going that way anyway
You are always going that way all along.”
~ David Whyte
Pilgrimages drag us into them. Then you want to be in that open road, embrace the vast horizon. Sooner or later, we face the inner dialogue that has been waiting there. We are with that question(s) that has no right to go away. We find ourselves knocking on the doors of the old barriers and the fears to befriend and pass through. So, this is a journey of vulnerability which is open to the possibility of being wounded. We wholeheartedly know that through these auspicious wounds we will meet the Light.
My journey of Self-awareness has been predominantly inward-facing, and now it’s -by its nature- changing direction to face the world, to meet and merge with different facets of life through occurring insights and a new understanding. This is where the learning adventure of this journey lies. So, I am willingly opening to be in social environments, amongst people in order to involve in this learning and ripening space. Even if it will feel vulnerable, I am curious to see myself through the mirrors viewing me from countless directions. Because I am a Lover of what is.
This was my second time in beautiful Thailand. Just after I landed, I took the first train to north as I left a part of my heart here at my first time. After resting in Chiang Mai for couple of days and synchronizing again with this new part of the world, I headed to Pun Pun, an organic farm and a community where I first visited and stayed 7 years ago. The times in Indonesia were magnificent and at the same time emotionally intensive and physically challenging. So, following those days, I needed to be in the safe environment of a community. Furthermore, I was willing to be amongst people as a result of my heart’s desire that I told you about above.
In the past, I already wrote about Pun Pun, the story and the functioning of this organic farm and community. I tried to explain there how significant it is as a good example of a learning center for sustainable living. I also added my impressions through my experiences. You can find all those in this blogpost; “Volunteering at Farms”. If you’d like to know more about them, please visit their website: punpunthailand.org
I was very happy to be back in this familiar place again. 7 years was more than enough for so many changes in the community, just like my hair turning white and new wrinkles on my face! Some members were not there anymore whereas some new members joined, some got married, kids grew up, new babies born, some new buildings showed up, some fell into decay and so many more. But the warm feeling that permeates every corner was still there, as gentle and kind as before. You can get the feeling of this kindness and joy on the picture above where we are all together with some of the people of Pun Pun. And below you can see some of the adorable young members of the community.
At Pun Pun each day is filled with so many different types of works. Maybe the most significant one is farming. There are 2 main reasons for this. Firstly, growing their own food (including community, volunteers and visitors) is an essential part of building a sustainable life. And secondly, Pun Pun is first and foremost an organic farm and seed center. They are willingly working to bring seed saving back into the hands of farmers and growers. They are a living seed bank meaning; they do not only collect seeds to keep, but grow, distribute and exchange the seeds continually to propagate the species coming back to use. Therefore, the main work is farming and seed saving.
I used to be a seed saver in the past. This common interest was the main reason that brought me to Pun Pun years ago. So you can guess how happy I was in Pun Pun while working with the soil, and how fulfilling and joyful it was for me to work together in solidarity in the environment of a community. You can check my essay; “On Seed Saving and Navdanya Movement” to read further about what seed saving is, why it is important and how it is practiced individually and collectively.
Members that are eager to do gardening have their zones on the land. They decide what to cultivate, how to cultivate. The area is open for experimenting on agriculture. They take the support of other members and also volunteers to bring about what they need to do that week. The works are done collectively on various phases of farming like; preparing garden beds, planting seedlings, soil building, seed saving, mulching, weeding, pruning, grafting etc.
There is such a rich variety of vegetables, herbs and fruits on the land. Even the first ones that come to mind create this long list; eggplants, beans, okra, chickpeas, pumpkins, cucumber, carrot, chili peppers, tomatos, onions, garlic, basil, mint, oregano, rocket, lemongrass, galangal, turmeric, ginger, coriander, and some fruits like; lime, guava, custard apple, papaya, pineapple, mulberry, banana, passion fruit, and many more. As we see above, the harvests from the gardens first take their place on the shelves in the kitchen and then turn into extraordinarily delicious and artistic dishes in the hands of the kitchen team of the day.
It was always a joy to cook together and then eat together around the long dining table. With all the delicious tastes in my mouth, the nourishment in my body and having friends around me, I was feeling deeply grateful for these blessings of life.
Apart from gardening, farming or cooking, there were also some natural building works like; producing mud bricks, plastering, repairing old cob plasters, painting, or digging water ways for the heavy rains. Our number was remarkably growing when the participants of a new course showed up. Pun Pun hosts courses or workshops on self-reliant living, organic gardening, community living, natural building and natural health throughout the year.
There were so many joyful moments we shared. One of our favorite activities was to go to the Saturday market for some delicious food and drinks. Another excitement we shared was to go to the hot springs in Chiang Dao. At both expeditions we were jumping into the back of the pickup truck and enjoying the road trip with cheerful conversations and songs we shared. One other memorable experience we shared was the Halloween celebration. I always adore how groups of people can have a natural ability to self-organize around a topic they love. Magically everything gets arranged, all that is left for you is to enjoy. That day I guess we hosted around 50 friends and neighbors and had a blast! It is always so wonderful to see children laughing and having fun. Joy is contagious, isn’t it?
I just mentioned about the hot springs in Chiang Dao. Speaking of which, I recommend you to experience these hot springs and enjoy your times by the beautiful river there, streaming through a lush green forest. Chiang Dao -a northern town very close to Myanmar border- hosts Doi Luang mountain, third highest mountain in Thailand. Its beauty, as seen above, is visible from all around Chiang Dao.
The room downstairs that you see above was my humble and sweet home in Pun Pun. I settled in, placed by altar, burned incense, evoked my good intentions and prayers. In couple of days, I was more than comfortable and feeling safe as I was able to create a sense of belonging. Between you and me, I started to be quite good at cultivating this sense! So every evening, after the dinner, like every other person, I was retreating into my room, into my aloneness, filling the nights with reading, writing, meditating, singing or practicing ukulele. It was also the perfect time and space for deep listening and contemplating on the fresh inquiries that are emerging in my being.
In the first weeks it rained so heavily all day and night as it was the time when Typhoon Yagi hit North Thailand. My heart was heavy with the suffering of our world on many levels and my mind was very busy thinking about solutions and possible remedies. I was taking the online course of Plum Village; ‘Zen and the Art of Saving the Planet’ and also reading and contemplating on Deep Ecology and Post-activism. You can read through “What if the way we respond to the crises is part of the crisis?” where I elaborated on all of these.
For many years I have thought a lot about community building, visited some communities, and even took some steps to build one with close friends. Throughout these years I didn’t stop questioning the principles I hold onto or what I see as ideal. I contemplated on our need to be a part of a community. I looked closely at our humanly needs like safety, connection, company, approval, recognition, encouragement, belonging versus othering, etc. I needed to analyze what I find lacking and therefore in need of? I needed to bring awareness on my fears.
I see that my thoughts and feelings around the topic are changing and becoming more flexible over time. To live in a big family is undoubtedly a rich experience so I would be happy to open myself to a community from time to time, interact, give and receive, be nourished, and then return to my loneliness. Because I can be very good in my solitude. Yes, like everyone else, my life is based on movement and change.
Those of us, who feel enthusiasm for Consciousness’s awakening process in humanity, are open to meet with deeply ingrained individual and collective fears. By facing them, by shining the light of consciousness upon them, we gradually break free from the illusory barriers that separate us from each other. I see these times as part of a foundation building process which we will hand down to the next generations. I have full confidence that the new generations will have much deeper understanding to create peace within themselves and in the world. I believe our children will be able to build communities and live the lives we long for.
6 weeks in Pun Pun were filled with so many conversations, human interaction, shared stories, dances, songs, laughter and tears. I am grateful for all the friends for opening their heart and trusting our connection. What they reflected back to me from their hearts was an intimate gift, reaching me from that mysterious place of Love. Nothing can replace the warmth of this feeling and a sincere hug.
✨
PS. Some of the photographs of this post are taken by dear brother Chan, one of the members of PunPun. You can take a look at his photo collection on his instagram page: lazygotji
